The more something threatens our identity, the more we avoid it.
There's a certain comfort that comes with “knowing" how we fit in the world. Anything that shakes up that comfort can be perceived as a threat to our character. Mark Manson's theory of avoidance applies to both good and bad things in life. In other words, we can be just as fearful of success as we are of failure. When we "know" who we are, we tend to lose curiosity and stop growing as humans - subconscious behavior kicks in and begins to dictate how we interact with the world.
For instance, people often say "I'm not the creative type". But, that bothers me. I believe that we all have the capacity to be creative. It's a matter of choosing to be vulnerable enough to put your ideas on the line. Maybe they're good ideas and maybe they're not - but who cares? When our heart is the right place, we should never be ashamed for trying. Howard Bloom, a prolific American writer & publicist, once said, "Great ideas have something in common with bad ones - early on, they both sound ridiculous".
Personally, I struggle with drawing. People assume that I'm good at it because I've surrounded myself in the art world. The idea that I should be good, makes me avoid putting myself out there for fear of not living up to expectations. So, I pledge... "Draw more, Mike". Like no one's watching. Do it. Give life to the image in your head - and hopefully, maybe... it'll resonates with others.
As Mark Manson says, "we shouldn't cement ourselves in unnecessary roles. It only creates unnecessary expectations and unfair biases. It closes us off to inner potential and outer opportunities." Mark says, "Never find yourself. Never know who you are.” Because not knowing keeps us striving for more. It forces us to remain humble in our judgements and accepting of our differences. When open to the thought that we're not as great or awful as we think, we open the door to humility and vulnerability - we open the door to exploration and growth. ...we open the door... period.
